How To Move On After a Painful Breakup, According to a Life Coach

"Take your time." IMAGE Shutterstock 

As much as wedding stories among popular couples in local tinseltown are always hot news, so are celebrity breakups.

Some of the most-followed break-up stories on PEP.ph recently have been those of Aljur Abrenica and Kylie Padilla, who called it quits two years after they got married, and LJ Reyes and Paolo Contis, who just ended their six-year-long relationship.

Breaking up is not inevitable even among warring couples, but always when it happens, someone's heart is left broken.

Taking note of heartbreak stories, not just among celebrities but in general we can all relate to, PEP.ph asked celebrity life coach Myke Celis for some tips on how to survive a heartache.

First off, he acknowledged that breakups can be brutally painful, and devastating to our own self-worth that we end up self-destructing.

Myke told PEP.ph via e-mail, "It's quite normal to question ourselves and our own self-worth whenever someone breaks up with us. Pointing fingers, playing the blame game, having a pity party, feeling angry-these are common reactions for those left behind. However, we shouldn't let these get the best of us."

Time and space 

According to Myke, time and space are very important when jumpstarting the healing process

"The first thing to do is to give yourself time and space. Move away from the triggers. You don't have to force yourself to explain yourself or justify your decision.

"You just have to allow yourself to process everything that's present as of the moment. Ask yourself this: What is true in my current space and what can help me accept it easier?"

Your feelings are valid 

Being aware of our feelings is also an important step to moving on.

Myke explained, "Never invalidate your feelings. Allow yourself to feel them as-is. Whether it's anger, pain, grief, sadness, guilt, shame, don't judge yourself in the process. It's only when you allow yourself to feel that you get to fully understand where they are coming from, which then helps you to resolve them accordingly.

"Don't ever mistake your vulnerability (as you recognize your emotions) as a sign of weakness. Don't force yourself to heal or forgive immediately. Take your time. It'll happen when you're ready."

Learning experience

Myke also reminded, as difficult as it may seem during dark times, to look for the silver linings.

"I have coached quite a number of people through their breakups and the most common concern they have in the beginning is that they only see it as something that's negative. However, there are valuable lessons to be learned and those can only be seen if we choose to look beyond the painful experience and see the silver linings.

"Ask yourself: 'What is this break up teaching me? Why do I need to learn that now?' Start where you are and plan what's next."

One step at a time 

Moving on is not a race, it's a process. 

As Myke put it, "Focus on what you can control, on what you have in your current space, and start from there. One small step at a time.

"Ask yourself these: 'How can I love myself more? What can I do now to help me heal? How can I start all over again? How does my next chapter look like?' All these can help you reframe your thoughts and actions and allow you to gradually recover as you set mini-goals for yourself, that will involve a whole lot of self-care and self-love, both of which, oftentimes forgotten when in a relationship that's no longer working, or after a breakup."

Ask for help 

Myke said having a strong support group also helps to mend a broken heart.

He said, "Be brave enough to seek help and support, whether from your friends, family, or even from mental health professionals. What is important here is to know that you don't need to journey alone and that you have people believing in you and are willing to help you start all over again."

Ultimately, the #BestMeEver author has this beautiful reminder for those who just came from a break up: 

"A break up is not the be all and end all of everything in your life. Know that it can demarcate beautiful beginnings for you, embrace yourself fully and finally give yourself the kind of love and affection you willingly give to others, as you journey towards becoming your own #bestmeever, outside of the relationship which used to define you and your happiness."

READ MORE: 

LJ Reyes on Paolo Contis: 'Hindi madali kalimutan ang taong six years mo nakasama'

Things You Shouldn't Post Online After a Breakup

5 Things Women Feel Upon Dating Again After a Painful Breakup

Simple But Sure Things that Will Help You Get Over a Bad Breakup

[ArticleReco:{"articles":["40333","38912","38796","38749"]}]

This story originally appeared on PEP.ph.

Minor edits have been made by the Femalenetwork.com editors.

Source: Female Network